Sometimes when all these shit things happen to you..It just makes you question yourself..Why me? Why are people so lucky? Yesterday I went home to visit my mum again. It always make me angry when I go home. Her hoarding disorder is getting serious days by days. It's getting worse when my dad is not home for ages because of Covid. I'm really tired of telling her to clean up the house and throw things! Sometimes I do question myself why am I so unlucky? Why can't I have a normal family? How can my brother and my mother live in such a terrible environment like this? 
I'm really tired of this. I never invite my friends to my house because I always feel like that is not even a house anymore to be honest. It's really embarrasing but I just keep it to myself and never tell anyone. 
When I start to work, people always want to know and curious about my family members. To be honest..it's quite a weird culture and people just want to know about your life and family members. People must have reasons when they don't want to share things with you. So stop. asking. me. about. my. family.
Of all the bad things that had happened to me in the past..How people treated me, laughed at me and thought that I'm a freak...You always know when people give you that judgemental look and think they're better than you. Recently I decided to cut off relationship with this friend as well. She just doesn't want us to be in her life anymore. Lol. Simple as that. Just one button and remove her. I just realise I don't have time to care about any people anymore. I just laugh it off when anything happens to me thesedays. I used to stare at the ceiling for hours overthink about things. Now I just like to keep myself busy by selling things online because the only thing that matters to me recently is money. Maybe this is why I don't really like to interact with people anymore. Lol. All these fake conversations and try to sell me things afterwards. Seriously get a life...if you value our friendship...you will keep in touch with me...yet you don't even know where is my current workplace. Lmao.